Being The Elder And Omigod Weekend

Hello gingers! This is probably the first normal blog I've had in like a really long time.

I'm really proud of that. Getting back on schedule feels good.

Next week is CSAP or standardized testing. Basically, I won't have any homework so I will have time to do things like blogging. The stuff that is actually important to me.

This week has been pretty stressful. I've had a lot of stuff to do and not a lot of time to do it. But you do not even know how good it feels to know I can catch up on sleep tomorrow, watch Easy A, and make videos and hang out with my friends tomorrow with no obligation for homework and other such things.

Stupid homework. Makes life complicated.

Anyway, back to what's really important. I had parent teacher conferences today. That's a really scary prospect for me because I have something internally where it's like "Wait, you have a bad grade! It's the end of the world! The teacher tells your parents you talk to much! Your life is over!" It's stupid and I hate that about myself. I wish I would just relax little bit but I don't really get it. It's not even that my parents pressure me about bad grades. They know I'm trying my hardest. It's that I set my standards really high for myself. I can't handle getting not meeting the goals I've set for myself. Especially when I know I could've done better for myself. It drives me crazy sometimes.

Oh, oh. Sometimes. I get a good feeling. Yeah.

That's right. I went there.

I've always had internal motivation to do the absolute best I could. If I was not happy with it, it's devastating. My brother on the other hand, is very different. I sometimes feel like he is overshadowed by me. I feel bad about that but in the end, what am I going to do?

Being the elder is hard on it's own. But because I have the internal motivation it's not even a big deal. It's expected. Or at least, in my mind it is.

I can't even tell you how close I got to crying today. Repeatedly. But that's tomorrow's blog.

For now this is it. I'm going to go relax and enjoy my weekend a little bit. But if you need me more, I think we are gonna do a live show with a bunch of stuff tomorrow. I'll let you know when that's going to be happening. It's going to be on my BlogTV. Go check me out! Follow my social networking sites to find out when I'm broadcasting!

But for now I love you guys! Your all amazing landsharks!

Keep On Setting Your Standards High,
Rachael The Ginger