Hello gingers! Today, as I said yesterday, I'm going to teach you how to become an internet zombie.
First you need to wait to blog at the last minute so you can mess around on facebook, and obsess over all the things you can't have at thisiswhyimbroke.com.
Then you need to spend your life on your computer chair and do as much as you can to multitask while on the computer. Like talk on the phone and blog at the same time. You also need to give yourself a lifetime of back problems in one summer from sitting on computer chairs.
Also you need to be a super mega nerd and absolutely NEED nerdy t-shirts, toys, gadgets, and always stay up to date on the latest news in all those things.
You need to decide your side on many things such as:
Star Wars- Rebel Alliance VS Galactic Empire
Harry Potter- Hogwarts VS DeathEaters
Etc.
You need to be diehard about your side and pay whatever price is takes to show your dedication.
You need to train your body to stay up to incredibly ridiculous times in the night as well. All Internet nerds an noobs need to be night owls and stay up late to were it is terrible for your health.
Then you need to get as little sunlight a possible, and try to make your only exercise typing. You will then deteriorate you mental and physical health and turn more and more into a zombie.
You need to be in the loop 24/7 about memes and make it your absolute mission to see them all. Obsess over sites like reddit, twitter, YouTube, etc. If you don't know what it is you need to revoke your Internet card.
Stay on top of everything and spend 20 hours or more on the computer every week. This will ensure your Internet nerdiness, reputation, and zombie like fisuque. Don worry about anything else.
Think about situations that would make rate comics constantly, and try your best to make it funny.
Most important rule. The narwhal bacons at freaking midnight people.
Follow these steps and I can assure you your Internet zombie-hood will be a reality!
Stay Zombies,
Rachael The Ginger
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