Why Not?

So I say I'm going to actually type blog like an animal later. And I don't follow through on that commitment and I just be productive with other aspects of my life. And in order for me to stay distracted I'm bouncing from one task to another. And suddenly I just have the most fantastic idea of blogging at midnight when no one is around to read it.

I apologize in advance for the lack of fluidity, original content, and sensical ness that this blog will produce.

At the beginning of this year when I was thinking about resolution's and that type of jazz, I told myself one thing in very specific. I told myself that this year was about trying all sorts of things. And failing at a lot of them. This year was about learning, and growing, and changing, and honing a skill or two. But by doing this I seemed to have slowed my progress down.

By the pure consciousness of the changes you are putting on yourself, you develop a fear of change. You develop an unwillingness to grow, because it may change another aspect of your life like your friends or your projects of what have you.

So when I decided I needed to grow and change, I stayed completely dormant. All the films and projects I wanted to take on went dead. All of my goals faded to grey. Because of school, or friends, or family, or something I couldn't change for. Something I had to spend my time doing. By simply mentally stating that change was near, I held on to the nostalgia I had left, and I didn't let it go.

But if I were to let life happen, and let my environments and my circumstances allow me to adapt, instead of feeling an urge to change like everybody else, I might be in a little bit of a different place. It's a weird concept to look at, and I'm not sure if I agree with it myself just quite yet.

Just like Rianna Finch said in a ApprenticeEh vlog about a month and a half ago, it's important to recognize that you are not the same person you were a year ago. And you won't be the same person a year from now. It's almost as if we are a tongue (bare with me I told you this wasn't going to make sense) and the older we get, the more tastes we acquire, the more acclimated we become to the world around us. We map the world around us with careful precision, and we have preferences to the world around us.

And we learn, but we are not even aware that we are. And we grow, without even thinking anything of it.

Tongues aside. I'm going to go now.

-Rachael The Ginger